Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
My brain says no but my pants say off.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I touched a dick in church today
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Randomize
