Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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