I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize