I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
