I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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