just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
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