First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
