GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Randomize
