is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
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Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
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We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
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