Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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