i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
