You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
