mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Randomize
