I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
