On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize