She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Randomize
