genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize
