Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
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