i would punch a child for taco bell
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
