I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Randomize
