Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
