I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
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