Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Randomize
