We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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