Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
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