i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Randomize
