so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
