He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
