aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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