You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
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