I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Holy sore nipples Batman
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
