The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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