There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Randomize
