We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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