Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
