Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
