Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Randomize
