you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Randomize
