we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Randomize
