anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
I think i got beer on your cat.
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