Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
