i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
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