I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
