last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize