it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
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And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
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