And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize
