I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
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