just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
