ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Randomize
