Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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