It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
