The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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