I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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