jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
