you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
