my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
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