I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Randomize