butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
Randomize
